| WHOA. its been 56 weeks since i last posted. what the hell, right? |
[04 Sep 2007|11:23pm] |
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music |
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pirates 3 score |
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so anyway, not sure if anybody is actually going to read this, but that's not really the point. this is supposed to be therapeutic. hopefully i spelled that right... fucking piece of crap spellcheck probably won't pick it up anyways. ANYHOO. on to the good stuff:
I'm in college, and.... boy howdy, its fuckin cool. cool because i have a new-found independence and freedom, and i'm studying things that i have always wanted to delve deeper into but never could (FUCK IB). i love architecture. my major rocks. i get to build stuff. dude. let me repeat. I GET TO BUILD STUFF. so that's been all fine and dandy. now, on to the good stuff. or rather, bad stuff, but good-for-LJ-stuff. really, its the only reason i've logged onto this thing once again after a year long hiatus. but jesus, i should have outgrown this whole livejournal thing by now. i know i'm handicapped by a natural immaturity, but that's still no excuse for partaking in this... this CULT. oh well. so, our conclusion is:
[(DANNY + LIVEJOURNAL)^NATURAL IDIOCY]/HOURS WASTED ON LIVEJOURNAL=
dumbass.
Q.E.D.
but i digress...
so there is a downside to all this college business. its not that i don't like it here. don't get me wrong, its unbelievable, and unique, and i can already tell that i'm going to learn a lot here, but its just... odd. i know people are going to say "thats just homesickness." well, maybe, maybe not. maybe in that i miss people. a lot. i miss my mom, my dad, my best friends back home, and yes, even binh. oh, and i can't forget the cat. miss her too. so anyway, i do miss people. TONS. but there's more to my anxiety.
there's the standard stress from the potential workloads. there's the constant competition. there's stuff i've got to figure out. like on my own. without kaj kicking my ass along the way. that's pretty hard to do. i feel far less confident without him at my side. he's my brother. and its sucks being 400 miles away in the fucking boonies.
but i'm going to end this abruptly.
goodnight.
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[08 Aug 2006|07:57pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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music |
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some kind of opera in the computer room |
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hola.
yo estoy en mexico.
woot.
life is good!
today was AWESOME!
okay, and i have another bit of news...
actually this is pretty big for me...
um... ladies and gentlemen, i got my first buzz EVER... like, full-on, happy-slappy, feeling good drunk. not wasted. i knew when to stop. but honestly, my mom encouraged me to, because she said she would rather have me do it here when they could "keep an eye on me". and it was fun! i just got reeeeeeeeeally relaxed and all. and seriously, i'm not dependent on it or anything, and i know i wont be. if you think i have a problem with this type of will power, then you don't know how my mind works with things like this.
it was just something different. and fun. =]
and i did it twice. we went on a booze cruise type dealie see, and i had three drinks before we went to the beach, and three on the way back. so i was doin preeeeeetty good! but i was totally coherent and all, which i didnt expect from everything i've seen. it was weird cuz i knew i could totally act normal if i wanted to. i just had to try too hard. and i didnt give a shit. and every limb of my body felt heavy. it was trippy. and relaxing. but enough about that...
mexico is fun!
but i'm missing my friends.
and my precious time before i get to go back to hell week! YAY!
DAMMIT. kaj needs to get his ass back from the midwest. i need to go see my SBS friends again (+1 extra who shall remain anonymous). and i miss all the chicas too. (shauna, hope you're enjoying your new job and all that, and good luck with whatever it is that you plan to do thats NOT job related). can't forget my PJ buddy either. keep it real vato.
anyhoo
i'm out
of time
on my 20-peso-per-half-hour mexi-net.
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[03 Aug 2006|08:09pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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peral jam live - SD show =] |
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hi folks.
i'm going to mexico in 51 minutes.
WOOHOO!!!
=P
i'm officially excited.
this trip with my mom/binh is going to be much different than the one earlier in the summer with my dad. my dad HAS to do stuff ALL THE TIME. so now, i get to chiiiiiiill... much more than last time... 8]
i took my econ final yesterday.
i did the last little extra credit assignment today.
so i'm DONE with that SHIT... 8]
... 8]
hopefully, i'll get lucky down in meh-hee-coh.
woot!
i'll try to post from there... magic keyboard and all
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[31 Jul 2006|03:30pm] |
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mood |
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 poo. |
] |
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music |
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coolidge - descendants |
] |
food network RULES. i can sit and watch this for HOURS.
the only problem:
i havent seen the original "iron chef" in ages... :[
this may sound odd, but that would be another career that i'd be interested in, but would NEVER happen because of my parents. i brought up the idea of culinary school to my mom one day, and lets just say she was far from excited. that pissed me off. she's always behind me on everything. except WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE, and that seems like where i would need it the most. and then there's the wakeboarding thing. i mentioned to her that i might be looking at UCSD or cal poly san luis obispo more so than berkeley (not for sure yet) because they have wakeboard teams. and she freaked and said i should choose a college for the right reasons. okay, for me, that IS the right reason. i have been doing this stuff ALL MY LIFE. i can never be away from the water and from that atmosphere very long without going insane. i love it. i grew up doing it, and i'm not about to leave it behind in an instant. nobody except my dad gets it. NOBODY. (because it's just as important to him. he grew up with it and he never left it. he never had help from his parents in college, and look where he is now. he's successful, AND he never left what he loved.)i know people always say "i know what you mean" but you dont. well, maybe you do.
but that's not the point.
the point is that i hate the fact that my mom has ALWAYS seemed like she supported me in whatever. seriously. when i was debating quitting IB or possibly football, or whatever, she said that i should do whatever i think i can handle and she said she would back me up either way, and it wasn't in one of those fake, half-assed ways either. then something like this comes up, and all of a sudden she doesn't support me anymore? What The Fuck? Honestly, that hurts. especially with wakeboarding. i mean, come on, she was out there every weekend with me and my dad when they were still married. and she had a good time. she knows how important it is to me, and she still doesn't give a shit. she's worried that i won't be successful or some shit like that... guess what? i can be happy without being successful. and FUCK its not like i'm talking about being a pro as a career. i just want to have fun in college while saving at least ONE aspect of my former life.
GAH
you know what though? at the end of the day, i'm gonna do whatever the fuck i want to do for college. well, almost.
i worked again today.
and put boxes away and pulled more out and emptied a few and filled a few.
and i pulled the stuffing paper out of the consolidated shoes and sent them off to store #66.
(btw, i got these kickass new vans that ALMOST left the store before i got to them. heehee)
employee discounts are awesome, i might add.
i miss my dad. whenever i start to miss my dad, i miss the lake, and vice versa... funny...
its how we stay together. its how we bond. and i could never live without that.
HA. and as far as women go right now, let me just say I SUCK.
hm... this has turned into one of those bi-weekly-ish rants.
sorry folks...
P.S. my new myspace profile is not only a great song, but it represents me at the moment.
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[23 Jul 2006|10:38pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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the gentleman - mad caddies |
] |
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: g'mornin
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: man, i need a new greeting
lupin 0 1 3 2: hullo
lupin 0 1 3 2: yeah you do
lupin 0 1 3 2: how was your day?
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: twas aight
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: went to my cousin's baptism
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: that was nice
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: came home
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: did econ
lupin 0 1 3 2: good times
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: you?
lupin 0 1 3 2: slow
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: por....
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: ....que?
lupin 0 1 3 2: it's a sunday, they're always slow
lupin 0 1 3 2: k, i'mma go
lupin 0 1 3 2: g'night
HBwAkEbOaRdEr1: adios
lupin 0 1 3 2 signed off at 10:36:58 PM.
our convos rule.
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[23 Jul 2006|01:17pm] |
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mood |
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 energetic |
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music |
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satan is my motor - cake |
] |
apparently, william shatner will be the latest n' greatest Comedy Central Roast participant. this ought to be good...
but ANYHOO, i'm going to my cousin's baptism today.
REEEEEEWIIIIIIIND:
i had a few damn good days. went wakeboarding again. i watched ricky gonzalez and gretchen hammarburg ride which was pretty cool =) . (OH! I JUST SAW A COMMERCIAL FOR THE ANIMANIACS AND PINKY AND THE BRAIN DVDS!!! MUST BUY! MUST BUY!) but i had my best ride so far this season. and i almost stuck a new move. this one:
http://www.wakeworld.com/Galleries/getimage.asp?GalleryID=300&imageid=19
got my work schedule for the week too. theoretically, i could be working monday-saturday minus wednesday. HOWEVER, vans has this bullshit call-in system where you have to call them an hour before and find out if they need you, and TWICE already i've been screwed by the system and didnt get my hours. its technically being on call. SO, i have to free up my time anyways just in case... blah.
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| blegh |
[15 Jul 2006|04:43pm] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
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music |
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melissa etheridge (jolie's myspace) |
] |
i'm not going to be cryptic. so here:
just out of curiosity, i go to look at her myspace. why? I DONT KNOW, on a whim, or something.
"This profile is set to private, blabbety blah blah."
basically, i was deleted.
yay.
anyhoo.
my day has been intersting. it was one of those i-thought-my-mom-was-going-to-kill-me-when-i-got-home days, but in fact, she's been happy ever since. cool.
anyhoo.
my last couple of days has been interesting. its been one of those confusion-over-something-that-i-should-probably-forget-about periods. i hate having options. i really do. because that means that you must make a choice. and when you make a choice, something or someone gets left out. i was talking to kaj about this last night. some people think i have it easy in this regard. they say to be thankful. i say: suck it. it seems great on the outside, but its actually incredibly hollow.
so, i shall finish here and go listen to jolie's man-hater profile.
hm... i guess i was a little cryptic. i say again: suck it.
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| =] |
[10 Jul 2006|11:38am] |
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mood |
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jubilant |
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music |
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pearl jam - better man |
] |
to all y'all out there, i refer you to nick's LJ, where he posted the entry that i was about to post now, but most likely with far more detail and accuracy than i would have.
anyhoo.
GO THERE.
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[04 Jul 2006|04:15pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
] |
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music |
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taj motel trio - she's mad |
] |
I'm employed.
AND UBER EXCITED!
cept i'm bored.
and a half.
i'm somewhere between lethargic and comatose.
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| shauna, |
[30 Jun 2006|12:47am] |
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mood |
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 ... |
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music |
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chris murray - home |
] |
we're weird, girl...
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| woot |
[27 Jun 2006|10:40am] |
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mood |
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pleased |
] |
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music |
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skalking roxy - ska band |
] |
Ladies and gentlemen, i finally got a call back from an employer. AAAAAND, its the place that i actually WANTED to work at. VANS! yay. (The one at five-points) The guys there were really laid back, and it never really gets that busy, so it would be a relatively easy job.
interview on thursday!
And it kinda fits, since i'm damn near a walking billboard for vans anyways...
i suppose it fits.
=P
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| I'd really appreciate it if i could get as many comments as possible on this... |
[25 Jun 2006|10:44pm] |
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mood |
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 troubled... |
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music |
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suburban legends - alternative is dead |
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I consider myself a rationalist. I believe what i see. What confuses me is that this may be entirely wrong and that those who are lead by their "blind faith" towards God may in fact be those who follow what the facts really are.
Faith itself hasn't been sitting just quite right with me. Recently, I've been completely torn on the concept of God. My notion of religion has become, "If God chose to show himself to me then of course I would know that that is ultimately the 'correct' belief of the universe and would undoubtedly believe in Him!" Why isn't that good enough for God? If he is the loving and all-knowing God that he claims to be, then he should know that plenty of people want to believe but just can't bring themselves to do it because it doesn't make enough sense for the rationalists.
I don't see the point of faith. Why should we have to go by the standard that faith is the only way to be a believer? What about us who have to see things to believe them? We would totally be there with the rest you guys if we knew it was real. I'd be all for religion if i knew it was the right way. I really would. I mean that with all of my heart. I guarantee it. Why should we blindly believe something that flat out doesn't make sense? I just don't get it. I don't see the point of faith. Just because everybody who is a "true believer" has faith doesn't mean that i don't want to believe in God. I do. I honestly do. I actually miss that blind faith that I had all through my grammar school days. I was happier because i KNEW there was a God. I want to know that no matter what, there is always someone watching over me. I want to feel that i always have the great "rock of fortitude" to fall back on when I feel like I can't go on anymore. But I just can't help wondering, what if it isn't real?
Why is it that we must go by the standard of having faith anyway? Why did "Doubting Thomas" get such a bad rap? He was only going by what he saw, and why the fuck was that so bad? Just like Thomas, if i saw the Lord with my own two eyes, I would be eternally faithful. Why must be believe without proof?
This is very difficult for me to put into words because I never feel like I'm getting my side of the argument across effectively and no matter what the topic is, I never feel like people know quite what I'm trying to say.
Okay, this is too much religious stuff for me for right now. I'm done for now.
But then again... this comes back to the "faith" in what we see. What if the rationalists the ones who are wrong?
This is actually a very personal topic to me and I've given it an enormous amount of thought over the last few years. Seriously. It's been bothering me. Oh well, enough of this. I'm going to bed.
Liz, please help me out with this. It's really been getting to me in the last 6 months or so. I honestly want your input. I don't care what it is. I just want to see how nuts you think I am. Please.
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| one more Ting |
[20 Jun 2006|09:41pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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P.S.
Mexicans have the best buttons on their keyboards:
°degrees!!!
ñ!!!
¡!
and!!!
¿!!!
!!!!
there was no alt-pressing there, folks... thats all one-touch...
i think this thing is magic.
too bad i cant make the apostrophe work.
eh, fuck it, ¿who needs those?
¡not me!
and it is currently 23°C
iñ here...
...¿
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[20 Jun 2006|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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superfantasticalistically good |
] |
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music |
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reggaeton... |
] |
Good Evening Yall, from beautiful COZUMEL, MEXICO!!!
dooood... this place is DA SHIZ.
got here yesterday.
slept.
went snorkeling in water with 100+ ft. visibility.
slept.
ate.
shat
went scuba diving for the first time. and the second. con mi padre. fue BUENISIMO. im spoiled. he says that it was some of the best diving hes ever done, and hes pwnd at this for about 30 years now... oh so spoiled.
just had dinner, and im going to bed, despite the fact that its officially blue-hair bedtime... im pulling a grandpa. woot.
adios
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| fuck employment |
[18 Jun 2006|07:02pm] |
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mood |
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frustrated |
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music |
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third grade scuffle |
] |
looking for a job blows.
i don't mean to be a stuck up smart ass, but i'm a good kid and relatively intelligent, and i'm sure that you've all had your run-ins with idiotic employees. all i ask is that i join their ranks.
it can't be that hard, can it?
just out of curiosity, to anyone here who's had a job, how many applications did you send out before you finally got a call?
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| and the sick boy cometh. |
[01 Jun 2006|01:27pm] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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music |
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KISS on VH1 |
] |
howdy y'all.
i have returned from my three day hiatus at the hospital, where i enojoyed the lavish hospital treatments that we all know and love, from the fine dining, craptacular doctors that insist that your nausea will lessen if you "just calm down", and creepy nocturnal roommates who stay up til the wee hours of the morning playing spider man 2 on their imported-direct-from-home xboxes. actually, my stay probably would have been quite a bit better if i had my xbox...
well. nothing has changed. i still ended up spewing about 30-40 times on tuesday. woo.
but i'm back in black and hopefully my body will recover within the next few hours as i try to start/finish this history project.
but all in all, i feel pretty good, and i had a damn good weekend.
friday - went to the beach and worked on the physics project with kaj and megan. her family was going to spend the weekend out there anyway, so, we figured, why not work on the project out there? i think i did something else later on that evening... but my memory's a little fuzzed from the 20 gallons of fluids that were pumped into me...
saturday - hung out at the beach and built our physics boat project dealie. hmm... it's really more of a box... THEN, the highlight of my weekend: i picked up brittany from mimi's and we hit DA CHAIN (reaction)! and i saw one of my favorite ska bands that i hadn't seen before! the MAD CADDIES! THAT was one of the best shows i've ever been to. and plus, i met a cute college girl too...
sunday - got up and went to church with my grandparents and aunt in the morn'. again... memory blank... i apologize...
but i went to canyon lake with my other aunt that evening, and
monday - i FINALLY got to get my dusty-ass wakeboard out of the garage! THAT was fun. hung out with my dad/uncle/aunt, and had a kickass time on the water. came home that night, and then the intestinal havoc ensued.
"and i'm spent..."
I'M OFF TO WIKIPEDIA! whoosh
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| MONUMENTAL OCCASION... |
[23 May 2006|05:59pm] |
today=crap crap crap crap
first off, i found out that we have a physics paper due tomorrow...
then, spanish sucked because our sub was a retard and we had an assload of busy work...
THEEEEEN, i went to football practice, and TRIPPED at the worst possible time...
THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN, i come back to my car and find ANOTHER parking ticket. as if the first one earlier this year wasn't enough. GOD FOR BID, i change cars for prom and forgot to put the pass back on the mirror for ONE FUCKING DAY. i mean, what difference does it make whether its up or not? they know i own one, and the records are with the administration... so FUCK that dumbass cop up his FUCKING ASS.
THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN, i come home and find a really shitty myspace comment on my profile... (she's still blissfully unaware, i her own little world) SO, i get a little pissed again. ya know, there wasnt anything even remotely angry in the comment, and thats what bothers me the most i suppose... maybe she wants me to be nice. maybe she actually wants me to make her feel better about any guilt (although i doubt she has any) she may feel about how i was completely "hung out to dry" as they say.
THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN, my mom comes home and yells at me because i forgot about the parking pass that was supposed to be on my car's rear view mirror, hence the ticket.
this is how my mom thinks:
first, she finds every little thing that can be wrong with the house and its cleanliness/tidyness, and tells me that i dont do enough, which, i can obviously understand sometimes.
second, she always tells me i'm not working hard enough and that i watch too much tv and i go to bed too late.
third, god for bid, i honestly FORGET about something, she yells at me for that, as well as the previous two things, despite the fact that i may have attempted to fix to problems before... she just unloads with both... no, scratch that.. she unloads with EVERY FUCKING BARREL IN THE ARSENAL at once. she can never be mad at me for ONE FUCKING REASON
so then, a few minutes ago, she started yelling about her camera that ended up in abbey's purse after prom. i had every intention of talking to abbey today about it, but no, she wouldn't have it.
then... i did something monumental.
i fucking BLEW UP at my mom... i've never done that before. i've quipped right back at her sometimes, but not like this... and her, being the mother that she is, knew that something else was up, not just her yelling at me about the parking pass... so i spilled my guts about the day. goddammit, emily was the worst fucking part of the whole day... it just makes me wonder what kind of games she's playing... trying to be friendly and all that. i mean, come on, it took a month with me before she got friendly with another guy. i'm not saying i think she actually wants me back, i'm just saying that if the opportunity were to arise, i wouldn't dare, FOR A SECOND, think about politely acquiescing... (thank you, PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN)
I JUST DONT WANT TO CARE ANYMORE, but that's not in my nature.
but anyhoo, i actually had a civilized conversation with my mom after i dropped the proverbial atomic bomb on this house... hmmm... i actually have a renewed sense of self-worth... interesting.
in closing, my mom gave me really good advice, we talked things through, and i love her once again more than anybody in the world.
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| liz, i spill my guts |
[21 May 2006|12:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 kinda fucked up in general |
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music |
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mustard plug - mr. smiley |
] |
aight, L-to-the-izzo,
well... PROM
TWAS FUCKING FUN... at least, before we actually got to prom and after about the first two hours or so after we arrived.
BACKGROUND: emily IMs me a few nights ago, here's how it went down in rough paraphrase::
E: heyy, guess what
D: what
E: i'm going to prom!
D: nice
D: wait, which one?
E: OV! we gonna partyyyyy
E: we'll hang out and have lots of funn :]
E: ok, g2g
E: see you there!
and yes, that's all i said during the whole convo, which took a total of 30 seconds... it just makes me wonder, did she even bother to think about how much this would possibly hurt? i was pissed at first, but then i disregarded it, thinking it would be just fine.
i really didnt think that all this rubbish would bother me so much. i went in just thinking that i'd ignore them to the best of my ability, speak when spoken to, be polite and Hwatnot.... didnt happen.
no more than 3 minutes after we get there and stand in line, they walk up, and she gives me that casual "Hi!"
Me: hey, hows it going.. (with lackluster enthusiasm)
E: gooood (smiling happily)
yeah... it stung... FUCKING BAD... REALLY... FUCKING... BAD...
i wonder if she could tell... ha, it was funny, i turned away, obviously disturbed, adn john corsetti, one of his own friends, grabbed my shoulder said, "don't worry about it, just ignore them." very cool kid.
well anyhoo, i did my best not to look at them for the rest of the evening.
at one point, she called my name out on the dance floor, and i just casually moved back towards my group... i wonder if she could tell that i was intentionally ignoring her... i made it look as casual as possible... its not like i looked at her and THEN moved away... it was a much more fluid movement than that.
and when we got group pictures, there they were, sitting down on a couch in the lobby... yeeeahhh... i caught myself stealing sideways glances through the artificial shrubbery...
ANYHOO.
basically, it really hurt.
bad.
real bad.
on da flip side, i <3 everybody in my limo. YES! WE GOT A LIMO. dooood, the guys in my limo were smurf...
if anybody sees okey, tell him that he doesnt known his own strength with a 2-liter o' 7-up, and that he's freakin smurf.
to chris, tell him that he's uber WHITE
to kyle, tell him to keep his foot off the effing radio
to john, on a more serious note, tell him that his support was appreciated
and i <3 all the girls too. my shawn, my sis, my raeX2
DOOOD
we went to denny's afterwards too. saw jolie and j-dub. and others. dennys was pretty crowded, considering that it was past effing one o'clock.
p.s. i got a fatty breakfast. two eggs, two strips o' bacon, two sausage links, slice o' ham, hash browns, and 3 pancakes.
i'm out.
so here's my conclusion:
fuck her. fuck him. ima miss the seniors. <3 limos.
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| yo |
[26 Apr 2006|09:20pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Streetlight |
] |
well
well, well, well...
we'll see what happens...
i like trying new things...
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[12 Apr 2006|10:15pm] |
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die
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fist_intheair's journal